We had our group party. And as part of it we had this thing called monito monita in modern version. There’s a wish list indicated. Nice isn’t it? Were opt to celebrate this because it’s almost vacation and everyone is so excited in going home. But we’re not going to postponed it because this was the last Christmas I guess we will be celebrating together with as a group group. This thing must happen!!..hehehehe… funny while we were fixing about the monito monita with a wish list, I can’t think of any thing to write on..i don’t know exactly what I wanted.. Either my wish cannot be that easily granted by my group mates or I just don’t wish anything.. I feel so blessed and lucky.. I’m not financially stable but I know I am happy.. I have lots to wish for but I can’t think of any.. material things?.. I dunno why I am not craving for it.. all this time as I felt like I was indeed committed I can say I became more matured. Matured enough to think of the future..i even think of Lhekkz’ family.. Maybe because I am aware that lhekkz was the eldest and he supposed to be the one responsible for his family..i even think how would he finance for the family..I know it wasn’t my problem at all I am just a girlfriend..why should I bother myself thinking about those stuffs.. I even wonder to myself why . maybe I always see me and lhekkz as couple, that we are one and he’s responsibility was also mine..though I had the least responsibility because I am the youngest in our family..i just realized awhile ago, I shouldn’t be thinking of it.. I shouldn’t be focusing my life unto him, his family and us.. we are just simple unstable lovers.. he don’t even think of me belonged to his plans.. he even didn’t think the same as I was.. I know he was not that vocal to his plans but he never say any.. I am now awaken to the truth that love wasn’t that possible and enough to build your future life..my future life.. I had to focus on my own separately..i try not to focus on it..not be hurt just proceed..let him do the task..let him do what he wanted.. I’m tired..i’m going to be used to it.. I am badly hurt but who cares at all??.. I am the only one set this sitch on my own.. that’s why me. Myself and I ow suffering alone.. I tried to change.. be more concerned of others, done of being self centered, but I was abusing myself.. I almost forgot myself..i should be taking care of..this is how I feel.. it sucks but I can’t do any but to punish myself for what I have settled..
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