i'm all messed up

last june 11 super happy kame ni honey...We've planned everything and thought it was all settled .. until confusion came along ..We have to think and plan more about the matter , but the fact bout it really made us both excited and of coarse happy ... as time goes along, people around us knew our feeling of excitement about , and proud became more intense.. later that before a typhoon frank made a disaster in the country, i felt sick, quite depressed and afraid ... Afraid of the hopes would result into false one..because of the signs and symptoms i am experiencing, i was really depressed. then time for the truth and confirmation for what i am panicking bout..a really a sad thing..false hopes are now for real ..the excitement vanish and change into deep sadness ..i realize i was spreading a false/ fake /untrue event of my life..But how can it be?? i had an evidence and two of my peeps saw it!..my questioned answered this way.."there was a conception happened but the participants were weak and didn't able to make any progression so it had to break down resulted to what was your questioned of..good thing on it you don't have to undergo such dx to be fine..your gradually fine and capable of hoping for the next better time...fatigue may also be a factor but ourself knew bout the lifespan and the life cycle" .. really the feeling of the world duped o n your shoulder literally we felt, but i knew we had to continue ..move on.. look at the positive way around ..we talk..decided and think and act as it didn't occur..now were moving on..dat'z life cope up and manage stress carefully...tho i know as i act now, i know i wasn't moving on yet or i juz don't want anybody see me like this..feel my sadness and notice I'm incomplete..i know i can came back easily not a couple of time but juz time..i'll be back to what i used and others used to knew me..